TAINTED by Andi Jaxon
Release Date: October 20th
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“So,” Braxton says, finally breaking the silence. “Whatcha got going on over there?” He nods behind me.
“Oh. I brought it so we can watch movies or something.” I swallow despite the lump in my throat and get off the couch to get back to it.
Does he regret last night? Is he having second thoughts about all of this? Is he not ready for a relationship, or is he just not interested in me anymore?
My hands shake just a little as I plug the HDMI cord into the back of the TV and turn everything on.
“Braxton, can I use your Wi-Fi?” I say without turning around.
I can’t. If I turn around and see that look on Dean’s face, I’ll break. That shocked, scared, disbelieving scowl will break me. I just want him to smile at me.
“Yeah, of course.” He clears his throat. “It’s Petty Bitch and the password is Jesus Cunt Christ. No spaces. Each word capitalized.”
I force a little smile at him, but my heart is starting to hurt.
“Okay, well, I’m going to go. Y’all have with all this.” Braxton makes a circle with his hands as he speaks, then leaves.
I get the password typed in and sit there for a minute.
This is bullshit. I can’t let his fear fuck me up. He’s afraid to bank on the future because his past hasn’t shown him that he can trust me. I told him last night that I get it. That I’m not going anywhere.
Putting the controller down, I stand and turn to face him. He’s still standing in the same place.
“Is this you pushing me away because you’re scared? Because you almost got me.” My voice is quiet and calm. “I want a relationship with you. Somehow, in the short amount of time since I’ve met you, I’ve grown to care about you more than I probably should at this point. Being with you makes me happy.”
Dean’s eyes are turning glassy and his throat is working hard to swallow. There’s a red blush on his cheeks, and it looks like he’s holding his breath.
“I haven’t told my mom about you, but I’m going to, because I like you. A lot. I think about you all the damn time. I want to show you off to everyone so they all know you’re mine, and I’m yours. So, sit your ass down on this couch and let me touch you.”
He doesn’t say anything. He just stares at me for a minute. My heart is hammering in my chest, waiting for the rejection. I’m both physically and mentally preparing for a fight.
He points at the TV with a determined set to his face. “That’s not mine. At best, I’m borrowing it.”
I smile at him as he walks around the end of the couch and sit down. “Fine, you’re borrowing it.”
I sit down in the middle of the couch with the controller, and I pull his leg over one of mine and rest my hands on top of it. I wasn’t kidding when I said I needed to touch him.
He’s still in pajamas with a plain white t-shirt on, and he looks good enough to eat with his hair mussed from sleep.
I get Netflix downloaded and get logged in.
“What should we watch?” I ask, flipping through the shit on my recommended list.
“Schitt’s Creek. I think you’ll like David and Patrick.”
I get it pulled up, and we start it. At the end of the first episode, I’m smiling. That motel is something you might find in Kenton. The crazy people who live there too, especially Roland.
“What do you think?” Dean asks.
I turn to look at him. Leaning toward him, I move my lips toward his, pushing into his space but allowing him the time to say no.
I want his lips on mine. To feel him against me, around me, inside me. I need him.
“Taylor.” His voice is barely a whisper.
His eyebrows pull together, staring at my mouth as he bites his bottom lip. My lips hover over his, wanting him to close the gap.
“Kiss me,” I whisper to him.
It’s a chance that leads me here.
The grumpy mechanic with a chip on his shoulder and a secret.
I’m drawn to him.
This shell of a man, gripping onto who he is by his fingertips.
If anyone finds out who he really is, who he used to be, he’ll become another statistic.
Luckily I know how to hide my truth in the dark.
I should stay away from him, not get caught up in his family drama, but I crave him.
I need him.
Am I strong enough to fight for the man who needs me?
*Tainted is an mm transgender romance that deals with transphobia, homophobia, and past abuse. There will be parts of the story that contain triggers surrounding these issues. It is for an 18+ audience.
*This book follows Taylor’s journey after Bully King: An MM Bully Romance, it is a stand alone and does not have to be read in order.
About the Author:
Sarcastic and snarky, I love to laugh and read dark fucked up shit. I write about tortured pasts and hot sex, a happily ever after that has to be worked for. My stories tend to be a little dark but with some comic relief, typically in the form of sarcasm.
I like to dabble in a little of everything when it comes to stories. Romantic suspense, MM, a bit of erotica, with plans for Greek retellings, maybe some fairytale retellings, and some shifters. I write broken people who fight for their happily ever after, in all the many forms it takes.
I married a sexy man in uniform who let me spawn and am now raising a mutinous army of hell raisers that I created myself, all while he defends our country. I drink too much coffee and am sexually frustrated for your freedom. If you see me online, I’m probably sitting in a closet, hiding from my kids.
I have a ridiculous addiction to Archer, Sherlock, Supernatural, and The Big Bang Theory. I live my life spewing TV quotes and sarcasm. I’m a self confessed ass, not easily offended, and I love to laugh, almost as much as I love sleep. My laundry is rarely folded or put away and I have probably only showered once this week.
I hate schedules and planning, I have calendars, planners, and my phone yet can’t remember anything. Somehow, I’ve managed to keep 3 kids alive but I really need to become an adultier adult.
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